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Understanding the Concept of Identity and Role Theory

In our journey through life, there are many important topics that we should strive to understand. One such concept is the idea of identity and role theory. This theory, which I learned at Sandler, emphasizes the fact that each of us plays multiple roles every day. Whether it's as a dog owner, a husband, a father, a salesman, or an individual with various hobbies and goals, we all have numerous roles that shape our lives.

Identity and role theory teaches us that these roles are like practices. Just like doctors practice medicine to improve their skills, our roles in life require practice to succeed. The way we perform in a role today does not define our long-term success. Instead, it is our willingness to persevere and improve in each role that ultimately leads to success.

Chasing Success and Overcoming Failure

In society, we often strive to be good and successful in our roles. However, it's important to recognize that success is not linear, and failure is a natural part of the journey. As an entrepreneur, I have faced many failures throughout my seven-year journey. But these failures do not make me a failure; they simply mean that I haven't figured it out yet. The key is to keep getting up and learning from these failures.

This understanding is something I want to pass on to my children. I want them to know that every day, they will fill various roles, and the specific roles they fill may not always be relevant to their long-term success. The only person who can define their success is themselves. What success looks like, how they find it, and where they find it is entirely up to them. Life is a journey of self-interpretation, and there is no right answer.

Defining Success on Your Own Terms

In today's world, people often focus on tactics and strategies to achieve success. However, the most important aspect of success is knowing where you're trying to go. Just like the best negotiators have a clear goal in mind, knowing the outcome you want to create across all the roles you play is crucial.

Whether it's being a successful parent, a devoted spouse, or excelling in your profession, understanding that you are in control of your own moves on the chessboard of life is empowering. Despite the opinions of others and societal expectations, it is ultimately up to you to define your path and determine what success means to you.

The Unpredictability of Life

Life is full of unknowns, and it's impossible to predict the future with certainty. Each day is a new opportunity to make decisions and take actions that shape our lives and the world we live in. Nobody has lived through today before, and that uniqueness brings both excitement and uncertainty.

While analysts and experts may try to predict the future based on current trends and market conditions, the truth is that the future is always unknown. The time between now and the future is uncharted territory, and it's up to each individual to navigate this journey. Identity and role theory remind us that we are the ones running the board, making our moves, and shaping our own future.

Embracing the Journey

Life is an adventure, and every role we play contributes to the overall tapestry of our existence. Whether we succeed or fail in a particular role today is not the determining factor of our long-term success. Instead, it is our willingness to learn, grow, and persist that sets the stage for our future achievements.

So, as you go about your day, remember that you are not defined by the roles you fill. Embrace the practice and growth that comes with each role, and know that success is a journey unique to you. The beauty of life lies in the fact that you have the power to define your own success and create a life that aligns with your values and aspirations.

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Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

It's April 19, 2024. You too. Thank you.

It is a Friday morning. It's a glorious morning. Out.

Look how pretty it is. Out. Gosh, I love life.

Life is such an adventure. So on my journey through life, one of the most important topics I think anyone in the world should understand is a concept called identity and role theory. Identity and role theory is.

So I learned it at Sandler. And the theory is, in life, you play multiple roles each and every day. So you have a role or I have a role.

I try to always share my experience. I don't know what your experience is. I can only share, from my perspective, my point of view, my beliefs.

So I have multiple roles. I have a role as a dog owner. I have a role as a husband.

I have a role as a father. I have a role as a salesman, a service expert. I have a role as part of the PTA for my kids school.

I have a role as an entrepreneur. For myself, I have a role as an individual with hobbies, desires, goals. We have thousands of roles, and we will throughout our life.

And identity and role theory is the belief, I look at it as the understanding that each and every one of those roles is a practice. So think about, like, how doctors practice. Good morning.

Think about how doctors practice. So that practice is what makes them better, and that's why they call it a practice. And so it's this concept that who you are is different from what you do each and every day.

And so identity and role theory came from when David Sandler was learning sales and figuring all this stuff out. He would have days where he's out knocking doors and prospecting and gets nowhere and felt like a loser. But then two weeks down the road, the same call, the same prospect comes back and turns into a clothes.

And it's this idea that the way you perform in a role today does not define who you are, it does not define your success. And that is, I believe, the most important thing anyone can understand is that the way you perform in any role today does not dictate your long term success, no matter how good or bad you are. Because long term success is about your willingness to chase it, your willingness to perform low in a role for long enough to get good, to succeed in that role.

That's where success is built from. And I think as a society, we all want to be good. Trust me, I want to be good.

When I first started my entrepreneurial journey seven years ago, I thought I'd frickin kill it. I thought I'd be way more successful by now. But I have not.

I have failed over and over, and that's okay. Doesn't mean I'm a failure, just means I haven't figured it out yet. And so, at this point, it's my choice.

Do I look at it as, oh, I am a failure and stay down, or do you get up again? And that's life. That concept, I believe, is going to be the most important thing I will teach my kids throughout their life. The understanding that each and every day you will always fill roles.

And the roles you feel fill, for the most part, are pretty irrelevant. I think there are some incredibly relevant roles, like being a mother, being a father, raising kids. I think those are the two most important roles in our society.

All other roles are just opinions. Opinions on how someone thinks you should live your life, and identity and role theory is the theory that you are not your roles. And so if your roles do not define your success as an individual, what does you do? You define your success.

You define what success looks like. You define where you find it, how you find it. Life is yours to interpret.

There is no right answer. People are always talking about tactics and, oh, how do I do this? How do I negotiate better? Where are you trying to go? The best negotiate is know where they're trying to go. I think that's the biggest thing in life, is that if that's a squirrel, that is really gross.

Penny. Well, that escalated quickly. Penny, drop it.

Drop it. Okay, we'll come back and throw that away after our walk. Come on, come on.

And it's this concept that no matter how you show up today, you're still playing a role. And my guess is it's a role that you're not done with yet, or you wouldn't be playing the role for one reason or another. And so it doesn't matter what role you play on a day to day basis, as long as you know the outcome you're trying to create over all the roles you'll play.

Good morning. And that's identity and role theory. And it's that understanding that you're not at the end yet.

That's why I've realized, for me, entrepreneurship is a 40 year goal mission, because I don't know how it's going to go. I don't know how fast it'll go. I don't know how slow it'll go.

I don't know. There are so many unknowns. All of those unknowns are irrelevant because today's the only day you get to live.

But it's acknowledging that. It's acknowledging the fact that not only am I making this up as I go, everyone else is, too. No one on the planet has lived through society today.

We lived through it yesterday. But today is the first 20 or April 19, 2024. There ever is, ever will be.

And I look at. I look at every day. So let's pretend you decide you're gonna play a game of chess.

Well, you're playing a game of chess. Life is a game of chess, in my opinion, with, I think there's 8 billion people on the planet. So every day, 8 billion people get to have a turn at whatever role they're playing that day, every single day.

And on that turn, they get to do whatever they decide to do, because they are a pawn in your game, and you are a pawn in their game. We are all the king, queen, whatever piece you want to pick. Now, there are other bigger players than pawns, but at the end of the day, you are the one running the board.

You are deciding your future moves. And so, like, stocking out analysts and everything like that, this is a series of people's opinions based not on what the future of all society brings us, but what the potential future of one company brings us. And, yes, interest rates and everything like that gets baked into the market, but there's a lot of unknown in the next ten years.

Everything is unknown because we haven't lived the time between now and then. And so it's looking, to me, identity and role theory is looking at life like, hey,